Moving is a stressful and difficult process even if nothing else is happening at the time. However, moves often coincide with unpleasant life-changing events such as divorce, economic hardship, or death, and the combination can put anyone over the edge emotionally. If you are being forced to move during a difficult time, here are some tips to help you feel more in charge instead of feeling overwhelmed and like you have no control.
Think Through Your Decisions
When you’re in an emotional place, it’s important to try not to make rash decisions that you will regret soon after. Especially keep this in mind for moves that happen after a breakup or divorce. You might have strong good or bad memories attached to certain items that make you want to get rid of them as soon as possible. You need to make sure that you don’t toss out important things and make life more difficult for you.
If you can’t live without something, you can’t get rid of it. For example, if you have a washing machine that you and your ex picked out together and you can’t stand to be reminded of that memory, don’t just toss it away and be left hand-washing your clothes for a while. If you absolutely must get rid of it, maybe selling it would be a better option.
On the other hand, if your emotional state will improve greatly by getting rid of certain memory-rich items, you should get rid of them. Just think about your options first, be it donation, selling, or trashing. Don’t make hasty decisions based on spite, but also do what’s best for your state of mind.
Take What You Need and Take What You Want
For normal moves, it makes sense to pick through your items and get rid of anything you haven’t used in a long time. However, for emotional moves, there is more to consider, especially after the death of a loved one.
During emotional times, our things can provide a sense of comfort and security. When moving during a difficult time, you should take things that make you feel better. If you are debating whether or not to get rid of something, take it with you. It’s always easier to get rid of extra items later rather than try to track them down if you already got rid of them and regret it.
Ask for Help
Ignore the voice of pride inside your head that’s telling you that you should go through this difficult time on your own. It’s not as embarrassing as you think to ask for help when you need it, and if you’re moving during a huge life change, you need to let your friends, family, or neighbors help you. In fact, they are probably standing by feeling helpless against the pain you’re going through, so providing a way for them to help is a win-win.
There are many ways your friends can help you during a move. You might need help with sorting, packing, or even babysitting. If you have especially emotional items you can’t bring yourself to sort through, like your late mother’s clothing or the pile of stuff your ex left behind, see if someone else is willing to sort through it instead.
You can also ask for help with decision-making. A close friend or family member who has your best interest in mind can provide valuable insight into the situation. And if things get too bad, don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling.
Take Care of Yourself
During your difficult time, you are probably feeling emotionally and physically drained, so make sure you take care of yourself. Don’t let the basics slide: get plenty of sleep and make sure you eat. If you need time alone, take it. If you need people around you, reach out to them.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone in this kind of situation feels strain, but what works best for them might not be what works best for you. Make sure you have your own interests in mind, and don’t refuse help because you think it’ll make you look weak. Everyone needs help sometimes.
Think about this difficult move as a transition to a new part of your life. Things are changing, and it might feel awful now, but there will be good things in the future to look forward to. Take everything one step at a time, keep a level head for decision-making, take care of yourself, and ask for help if you need it. You can get through this!